GUNTHROAT

I had gone to kerala(again!!!!!!!) for my cousin’s engagement. I went to ernakulam and met lakshman and hari. As usual went for a movie and had dinner together( even the main contributor to the whole event was same!!!). I couldn’t keep books for pooja this time. After that I went to Irinjalakuda my home town. Most of my relatives are settled there. My cousins were there and I had a good time with them. The only problem was conveyance, we had to use an old model tata sumo with no power steering, it was a really a tiring exercise especially because vinu (my cousin) could not drive because of a dislocated disc which makes me the only person able to drive. Those friends who know my driving would vouch for anything except accepting me being an expert driver. But at the end of the day we were all safe. The engagement was memorable as it was a get together after a long time. Like all other families there are lot of internal turbulences in my extended family as well. Whenever I am in the middle of these petty fights (mostly these fights are due to someone purposefully or not ignoring the courtesies and etiquette that mostly govern the longevity of relationships rather than love or mutual trust), I am also demanded to take sides. This time I got a bit emotional and said it is absolutely unbecoming of human beings not to forgive others for their mistakes. Unfortunately it is near to futile preaching to these people who are well past the age of adapting to the world. I don’t have any aversion towards older generation, but sometimes I feel irritated by their utter disregard for the advices of youth. It is not that we are always correct but why are we always considered wrong. After the experience of being on the wrong side, where I was trying to preach, I did a serious introspection on my attitude towards societal norms and courtesies. I was shocked to find that though I don’t expect any kind of goodwill gestures from my relatives, I expect a lot from my friends. This is contradictory especially because I am not practising what I preach. So I have taken a resolution that I shall try myself not be offended by the behaviour of my friends towards me. There is no purpose in expecting something from others and then loathing them when they don’t deliver.
Back in Bangalore things are not at all looking good; the expectation of getting a call from the companies in which I am placed is getting dimmer day by day. I had taken a train from ernakulam to jolarpet and then another from jolarpet to Bangalore. In the second train I was travelling in the general compartment after a long time. My father and now it seems his brother have a strange aversion towards sleeper compartment. My father always frowns when I take a sleeper ticket for a day travel ( which is almost 100% expensive than general ticket). He says as long as we are healthy we should travel in ordinary compartment. To some extent he is right, but my innate proclivity toward sedentary pursuits prompts me to take the more costly sleeper ticket. But this time I was caught in a dicey situation wherein I had to reach Bangalore before 12.30 and had to take a general ticket in a train from Kakinada. William Dalrymple in his award winning book ‘In Xanadu’ says that getting into a train in Turkey, you will feel like you are being punished for solitary confinement while getting into a train in India will make you feel you are entering an Indian village. It was a horror for me in the beginning especially because it took a while for me to get inside the already packed compartment (it is ironic that in our trains there are only 4 general compartments, in which the ordinary and poor people travel while, 10 to 15 are reserved compartments predominantly used by the upper middle class). But soon I started enjoying the rustic charm of these ordinary people. Most of them (including the women folk) had a tonsured head probably because they were coming from thirupathy. An infant whose head was clean shaven was sleeping in a makeshift cradle, a lot of people was sitting on the planks for luggage. Though it was a short journey which took only 3 hrs, it was a unique experience though I should confess I prayed to God never to put me in such a quandary again.
October 13th