GUNTHROAT

I have been persuaded for long to write about my romantic conquests. But unfortunately it is next to asking Hitler to write a memoir on world war 2 or Napoleon been given an advance to write a book on Waterloo. My tryst with romance have been nothing but disastrous until now. Whenever I get attracted to a girl, the next thing I do is to find 10 things that would make the girl the most inappropriate choice. I attribute this strange behaviour to my ill concealed consternation of being turned down and the subsequent legacy with which I have to lead my entire life. Quite frankly I feel shameful to have never shown the guts to propose a girl. The worst criticism I have got till date is from a girl (whom I should confess, I was infatuated to and about which not surprisingly she never knew) who said it takes a lot of guts to propose and to be in love and unfortunately me being a coward don’t have. Frankly speaking the only girl I have yearned hard to be in love was someone in school. She was my darling from the age of 12 and still has a special place in my heart. The roadblock I faced then was the same old problem of supply demand disparity. There were so many worthy Jasons in quest of the Golden Fleece and only one fleece. She was a complete package. She was smart, beautiful, and most importantly devoid of the typical princess air with an excellent sense of humour. I remember looking at her for minutes (can’t have the luxury of hours of glancing in strictly scheduled school days) from the corner of the big football ground and contemplating the various odds in favour of me which would prompt her to come and propose me. As days went on this option seemed highly unlikely and I cursed my fate and went on with my wretched and loveless life while she changed to another division. In 11th standard she once again started haunting my dreams (though in a delectable way). This time I came very close to proposing her, mainly because our interaction quite unlike the early years dramatically improved and all her wooers where suddenly out of sight. I never even once gave an impression to my friends that I loved her and they were busy trying to set me up with another girl in her entourage whom I had never talked to in my life time. Then as it is said time and tide waits for none, school ended and I was contemplating the idea of proposing her while packing my bags to Cochin. But the worst was yet to come. Like all the stranded lovers I banked my hopes on orkut. I think it was in my second year in college that I started a conversation with her in orkut. She invited me to add her in yahoo messenger. I was till then accustomed only with gtalk and had no idea about yahoo messenger. Thanks to Hari whose computer I was using, helped me with inviting her in messenger. I had only 2 or 3 friends in messenger probably added when I created an account in yahoo. The conversation was much terse than I expected
Me: hi
She: hi
Me: so wats up how r u?
She : i am fine
Me : so hows college??
15 mins passes............
She : college is fine
Me : ok,are u busy??
Another 15 mins..............
She: ya da lot of friends online
Me: ok...
Another 10 mins.............
Me: ok then bye...
She : ok da bye tc.....
And thus ended the beautiful conversation I had so eagerly set up. That was the last time I used yahoo messenger.

october 20th