GUNTHROAT

During September 2008 I wrote 3 posts which I never published in this blog. One of the posts is still in my drafts. All of them dealt with the sudden breakdown of a very close relationship, I had with a person. Finally I decided not to write something on that bad period(of shock and anger). Then I recently saw just in front of me two of my very close friends moving apart. They seem to have a reason to fight and never to be friends again, but for me their issue is something which could be solved, if tried. But my post is not about my fight or their fight. It is about this thought that always crosses my mind, why do we fight, why do we hate and hate so intensively our closest friends. Why cant we remain friends(not close friends of course) just friends and never foes. Why do best friends end up worst foes....

For me in the short span of 23 years I managed to alienate 2 of my very close friends and I am not even in talking terms with them. I do not want to be judgmental by passing a verdict on whose mistake was it anyway. The most apparent explanation for this dichotomy of love and hate towards the same person is that our expectation from people close to us is very high. There is no room for even a small let down. We cannot tolerate even an iota of infidelity from our close friends. So when they cheat like everyone in the world(it is very normal and human....) we act like Caesar stabbed by Brutus from behind and give a Mark Antony like speech(mostly we lecture our mind)victimizing ourselves. We find all the reasons in the world to justify our losses as a result of our friend's actions. This aggravates our pain and eventually the hatred towards the person concerned. Then the hatred level is maintained by occasional mud slinging at each other as an attempt to vindicate our stands. Thus are we really wrong at remaining foes, why cant we act like adults and stop fighting. Why cant we be best friends again and trust each other like never before.I beg to differ only on the last point......

My point here is after a colossal letdown sometimes the people who are magnanimous enough to take up the initiative and try to mend the issue forget in their self righteous air that cheating creates cynicism and cynicism goes on to become distrust. Friendship can never go to higher levels when we don't trust a person. Caesar and Brutus can be friends again in another life, but Caesar will always watch his back when Brutus is around. So for Brutuses to complain why Caesars are always extra cautious and in the process a little indifferent when they are around would be frivolous. For Caesars to confide all his thoughts,secrets and tactics to his newly forgiven friend Brutus would be just idiotic. You can be friends with a person who stabbed you from behind if you are kindhearted, but even Jesus will not dare to sleep with Judas once again after the ordeal he went through.

Finally before I end I am not characterizing anyone as Caesar and Brutus or worst Jesus and Judas. The point is for us, simple mortals we equate ourselves to Jesus or Caesar when we are on the receiving end. We cannot love and trust someone who cheated us like never before, but we can be friends again, but just friends.....