I think it was Malcom Gladwell who espoused the theory of weak tie. A weak tie is the casual connections(not friends) you have with varying degree. Gladwell argues that the number of weak ties is directly responsible to your social success. I have always bemoaned my inability to remember names, faces and sometimes events. Recently a friend from school reminded me of a story I wrote when I was in 10th. Though I have a vague recollection of writing something, I am unable to remember what it was all about. The cornerstone of any fruitful relationship is your ability to store details. A friend of mine who claims to know all his 600 odd friends in face book first hand is an expert in weak ties. He still remembers the name of school kids with whom we attended a summit 3 years ago, whereas I find it hard to recollect the name of the runner for my travel agent in Aurangabad who claimed that he had been to Thodapada in Kerala(It took me 20 mins of Q&A to encrypt it to Thodupuzha). Even though we ended up having a smoke together, his name and face still eludes me. Same applies to the innumerable people I knew in Chennai(including a wonderful person who used to sell the sweetest tender coconut water for me because his mother was from Vadasserikkara close to Sabarimala). It is not simply about making friendship with absolute strangers, but about sustaining it through Facebook or Emails or Phone. It is also about a sound brain which can recreate the image of the person even after years of your last encounter.
Recently a colleague from Cognizant pinged me out of the blue. She used to be this quintessential sloth in those days. I used to start at 6 O clock in the morning and would wait for her to come at 10 o clock, so that I can pass the mantle and go for my breakfast. The princess would arrive at 10 and directly head to the ladies room. It would take normally 30 to 40 minutes for her to come out and I used to wonder what transpired inside. Finally out of sheer frustration I asked another friend from a different team to check what she did in the ladies room all the time. And yes my doubt was not unfounded. The lady was varnishing her face with all the Nerolacs and Apex Ultimas to weather the gruelling work of the sweat shop. Over that she used to take leave citing strange reasons like, “Yesterday my cousin committed suicide, so her parents wants to transfer her assets to my name. Today is the registration”, “A thief broke into my house and stabbed me on the chest and you know what the news came in yesterday’s Hindu” and this is my persona favourite “Das... Das...
The incident actually opened my eyes on how bad I am in utilising or even knowing my weak ties. Here was a girl, whom I thought was dumb, selling a product to a guy whom she hardly knew, by remembering that he had pimples. This utilitarian approach to friendship is something which I avoid because I find a moral dilemma in that. I believe friendship or its fuel love, should be independent of reasons, with no strings attached. You cannot befriend a person expecting something from him/her and that is where my conception of weak ties falls apart. A friend called me on my Birthday and wished me without a notification from Facebook. When I asked her how she remembered, she replied, “That is You and Me”. I was simply bowled over by that surprising gesture. But the painful part is I don’t remember her birthday. So I have reconciled to the fact that I am not the kind of person who will have a lot of weak ties. Social success will be elusive and facebook would make matters worse by accentuating my laziness to travel the extra mile. Thus I bid adieu to all networks and circles for the time being to reflect on what kind of strange species I belong to. Maybe time would bring me back, but then it would be a different network, different circle and most importantly a different person.
She is back. I was wondering for months, why Ms Arundhati Roy was keeping quiet when the urban middle class of this country was flooding the streets with Anti Corruption Slogans, waving the tri colour, shouting Bharat Mata Ki Jai. From my reading of Ms Roy’s works I was expecting a violent outburst in the form of an essay when the Anti Corruption movement became popular Television News. Ms Roy’s distaste towards Jingoism in the form of National Flag, apparently Hindu Version of Nationalism like ‘Bharat Mata’ and ‘Vande Mataram’ is well known. Add to that we have a set of youth who from a distance can be tagged easily as ‘Urban Upper Caste Hindu’, I expected a violent outburst from Ms Roy. And we got it on August 21st in India’s own ‘People’s daily’- http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/lead/article2379704.ece . The potpourri that even the most degraded yellow journalist would be ashamed of conceiving simply because the person she is vilifying is a 74 year old man who has lived a life of austerity with his paltry pension and tried to change something around him for better.
I am replying to Ms Roy’s essay, rather than just ignoring it simply because I like her works, especially the latest ones about the plight of Adivasis in our country. I truly support her causes for Inclusive Growth in the story of India. But when she exhorts to her Self Styled Liberal audience that protest of a certain section of this country(read Urban Hindu Middle Class) is always with insidious intention, when she argues that everyone in the protest has a blemished past, when she tags them as opportunistic because they are silent about other Struggles of common people in this country, every cell of my body prompts me to respond to my favourite English Language Author.
The essay starts with the usual mockery on Vande Mataram and similar slogans. Yes they have a Hindu past. Put the ones who are protesting has the right to raise the slogans they wish. You cannot dictate the slogans that adhere to the Secular tenets set by Liberal Left to give them Legitimacy. I heard Inquilab Zindabad and other Revolutionary slogans on the streets. Does that make them Marxists? Does that make them less Indian?
Next is the non inclusion of Adivasis in the Jan Lokpal Camapaign. If you check the annals of history, Indian Independence Struggle was lead and populated by the very same non Adivasis. The struggle of Adivasis for Land is as important as a strong Anti Corruption Law. But the two issues do not converge at any point and it is misleading to tell that Anna Movement is top down. Today morning I was talking to a Newspaper Vendor and a Chaiwallah. They were excited and hopeful about the movement. They believed in Anna and his ideals. The Anna movement is not a movement of Urban, better off people. It is slowly getting a Pan India approval.
You were an ‘honoured guest’ in Tihar Jail back in 2002 for one day in connection with Narmada Bachao Andolan. So you would be a better person to answer whether a person loses credibility if he/she stays in Tihar as an ‘honoured guest’.
The most controversial and purposeful twisting of facts comes in the paragraph where Ms Roy asks what the fast has to do with other legitimate struggles across the nation. I wish to ask Ms Roy, why she is silent about numerous rapes happening in her home state Kerala, why she is silent about the widespread land encroachment done by Marxist party members in Idukki district especially in Munnar(is it because there is land encroachment charges against her in MP?- Oh yes there are lot of ‘Sober Journalists’ in the country who can dig your past as well). Is it because you don’t mind crimes being committed against women and Adivasis in Kerala? Is Narmada Bachao Andolan and Land Grabbing by Mining companies in Central India more important issues? The simple answer is an individual cannot fight all battles and win it. As Ms Arundhati Roy has certain causes, Mr Hazare has a different set of causes, Mr Kejriwal and Ms Bedi will have another set of causes. Nobody becomes holier because they fight for one particular legitimate issue. Nor is a person inferior because he/she did not lend his voice to a certain group of people. Mudslinging of Gandhiji is always done on the same premise, stating that he did not join hands with Negroes in South Africa in their fight. Does that make him a lesser Mahatma?
About Mr Raj Thackrey and Mr Modi, I can only say that a person has the right to voice his opinion. Appreciation of Mr Modi’s governance is a personal comment of Mr Hazare and it should be viewed in that angle alone. At no point did Mr Hazare endorse Mr Modi’s action/inaction during 2002 riots in Gujarat.
Then Ms Roy goes on listing funding towards Mr Kejriwal’s and Mr Sisodia’s NGOs. I would like to just point out that compared to Ms Roy enjoying money received from Booker Group infamous for slave trade in 19th and 20th Century, receiving funding from Ford Foundation would be lesser evil. Gandhiji lived in Birla House where he died fighting for India’s poor and weak. Birla House was the donation of Birla Group. I hope that does not prompt you to call Gandhiji a corporate stooge.
830 million of Indians living below Rs 20 a day is gross misrepresentation of facts. I don’t see even the most conservative economist putting India’s poor above 300 million.
Finally you are confused about the role of government in fighting corruption. Will it help if we have a powerful watchdog or should that role be given to NGOs(doing social audit)? As usual you fail to provide alternate models.
I don’t support Janlokpal Bill in its present form. I agree with you about the result- Creation of Two Oligarchies. The extra burden of finally bribing the Lokpal Official as well. But that does not give you the reason to bark like a Mad Dog at a 74 year old person, call him casteist and fanatic,throw mud at Mr Kejriwal and Mr Sisodia who have equal rights as you have to protest and shout(sometimes at higher decibels than you) for their causes.
Let everyone discuss, fight and talk about corruption. Let us patiently hear all solutions for combating the menace called Corruption including the one put forth by left leaning Ms Aruna Roy. If you have a solution please share that as well. Blemishing people who are fighting for a right cause is unbecoming of social activist of your stature. You did the same when Amir Khan joined the Narmada Bachao Andolan. Is it that only a person who is female by sex, Syrian Christian by caste, Architect by education, writer by choice has the right to be protest in this country?
By
An Upper Caste Hindu- Who supports reservation.
An Urban Youth- Who oppose atrocities against Adivasis.
A Nationalist(who sometimes shouts Vande Mataram)- Who has Muslim friends.
